Friday, December 23, 2011

Moody December

Last year's Christmas Tree Hunt with our dog

I admit, I have not been in much of a mood this December after the passing of my dog and our missing cat. We just feel so lost at times. It's lonely. Our little female cat, seems to be bored. We plan on getting her a kitten to love after the tree comes down in Jan.

I'm also upset - we just got word that our son-in-law was laid off from his job as a landscaper for a church campus in Wa. Our daughter (my step-daughter) has been laid off for a couple of months. Plus the SL was also involved in a auto-accident where it was not his fault and he injured his back, so he was off work for a few weeks and then back to work with shorter hours as he healed. They laid him off last Friday.  I am just having a hard time with the fact that a church would do this just before Christmas. And if that isn't enough to make me concerned, he is unable to collect unemployment benefits because churches are exempt in paying into them. They are so screwed. They can barely make it. He is quite stubborn, mostly due to fear of the unknown. So I am not confident in him. They were living pay check to pay check anyway.

We have our own problems here with 2 adult sons living with us. Me losing my nanny job this June 2012 and DH working a underpaid job. Plus our roof issues. We did offer them, if things get real bad, to live to the side of our house, in our nice 34 foot RV. But lets face it, if I were young, I'd try my best NOT to have to go and live with my folks. We even suggested for them to get some help from her mother and they both, said they did not want that. So...what can we do?  Not a whole lot. Nor do I think we should rush in and save them. Well for number one, we really can't. They really need to try and figure this out for themselves. I have sent them a larger check for Christmas - to help pay for some groceries. Since both of them are stubborn and computer illiterate, I told them of some local food banks in the area they could sign up for. I make suggestions and if it involves a computer or submitting a application online, he says, "forget it".

So YEAH I'm concerned.  Thank God there are no children involved.


  1. It is a delicate balance of knowing how to help the "kids" after they become adults, especially if they are married. You want to have them be independent and make it on their own yet these days it seems like it takes everyone working together to help each other put food on their table. We struggle a lot with how to help our 22 y/o living on his own. His transmission of his car needs to be replaced (currently in the shop). He didn't ask for help with it, asked to borrow some money for a temporary fix that he thought would buy some time. But the fact is he lives 100 miles away from us and was planning on coming down for Christmas as well as a week later for hubby's dad's funeral. I couldn't in good conscience have him drive a car that was potentially dangerous to drive, especially since his girlfriend and her little daughter would be in the car with him. We're on a tight budget ourselves so I totally understand where you are coming from.

    It is hard to get into the Christmas spirit too; I do understand. Lost my mom five years ago 12 days before Christmas and Christmas is never the same since then. Poor hubby lost his mom last month and his dad a month later, yet what we have we're grateful to God for and just continue to trust in him.

    It is interesting the church doesn't have to pay into unemployment. That would be hard to deal with to not be able to collect those benefits.

    All in all I do hope however it is, it is still a good Christmas for you and yours.


  2. Happy New Year Betty. I hope you had a good Christmas and all is well with your son and his car.

    It is a different world that we live in now. I do believe the young people now, have a much harder time getting settled with their life, than we did. It is so hard now days to be able to afford a car, a place to live and be out on their own. I am especially concerned as my husband and I get up in age (we are 57 and 55) that we are not having to take care of them all.

    My step daughter and her husband have connected with my husband's side of the family up in WA, and they have come together to help them. So that is good. At first we thought they would be stubborn with PRIDE, that they wouldn't at least let them know. They are busy doing resumes etc and applying for whatever they can.

    I have to admit, I honestly do not know how to look at the new year. Well I feel a rant coming on - time to blog!