Monday, January 9, 2012

it could be worse

 I was able to get some of the monthly bills paid and January is looking to be a tight month. I had a couple of extra bills. I guess the good news is, it could be worse. I am not behind on anything except I did have to pay only half of the cable bill. The other half I'll pay this week.

I honestly hate this. It makes me feel so defeated. On a brighter note, the day is beautiful.  We have sunshine and even though "they" are saying we are in stage 1 of a drought, I'm thankful for the sunny weather.  I am prone to depression and my seasonal depression is the worst. If it is dark and gloomy it is very hard for me to manage my emotions. I know life can't always be sunshine and lollipops, I just wish I could fight that battle and win, once and for all.

Lets just say I have been on anti-depressants since the early 90's. I have often been referred to as a "Lifer" by my Doctors and Christian counselors. Wow, encouraging, isn't it? I have to admit, I am much better than I used to be and I am even down on my medications. Although that was my own doing and not at the advice of my Doctors. So perhaps that is why, I still struggle with the depression. Go figure...

On the most part I am a happy-go-lucky-sometimes-depressed-person. Hey, it's better than nothing!

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