Sad news - my brother

This afternoon, my sister-in-law from Alabama called - my brother's Alzheimers is in the final stages - he's on hospice now (at home) and started on morphine today. I was able to see him and talk with him through video chat. He seemed to recognize me and my husband but he did a lot of mumbling that we could not understand. He is only 71. 

She wanted me to come back but I had to tell her no, which was hard. Number 1, I've got the rotator cuff surgery plus I have the consultation with the surgeon coming up and I can't miss the pre-op. At first, I thought maybe fly in for a day or two and then fly home but that is a lot of rush-rush and I don't like that, especially before surgery. 

I live in a rural part of northern California in the sense that the largest airport to fly out of is Sacramento - a good 2-hour drive. For years I lived 20 minutes from SFO. I was so spoiled back then. 

She understood - it's not easy. Thank God we can at least video chat. 

My sister-in-law said the doctors told her anywhere from 2 weeks to a month. I am having a hard time believing it will be that quick - he seemed okay to me but she said it's the nighttime - like last night he thought he heard intruders and got out the butcher knives and she was scared to death. He ended up throwing the knives at the door and in the kitchen. She is afraid to be alone with him - sleeps in the guest room with the door locked. They had to take all his guns. She only uses the microwave because he tries to cook at night and leaves the burners on. So the gas has been turned off of the stove. 

He had been doing so well - the last we talked a few weeks ago, he seemed more like himself. And then, it just went downhill really fast. He can't go to the bathroom - he's constipated for days now and in pain. He's not eating or drinking much. He needs help in all his grooming -  and like all caretakers, she herself is exhausted. Now being on hospice, she gets some help. 

Just so sad. I just found him 13 or so years ago. I knew of him when my folks told me that my dad got his mom pregnant when they were young teenagers. For years my dad said, that he believed John's real father was my dad's older brother, Paul. When my dad finally met him face to face he couldn't deny him. He looks a lot like my dad - only shorter. Then John's granddaughter did a DNA test and it came up that she is my father's great-granddaughter. At this point, it doesn't matter. We're kinfolk like he loves to say. 

I went back 2 times - and just love the whole family. Very southern. I mean, Alabama. We come from 2 different worlds but they took me in and loved me. The most genuinely loving people I have ever known. I adore my sister-in-law. I think of her as a sister. Such a sweet lady. 

He's way too young to go now.