This morning, I sanded a wooden step stool - in the backyard so I thought I would walk around and glory at all the signs of Fall in my yard - with some summer sprinkles here and there...
I love grouping California poppies and Lavender together. I want to have more of this but poppies have their own minds as to where they will root and scatter.
On the hill some of the wildflower mix we threw around, is starting to come up. That's the thing with those mixes - you scatter them and then think, they didn't take - when they were just waiting for their optimum time for your area.
I'm glad they picked this time to come up - the yellows and oranges compliment the Fall season.
I hope more of these pop up - they are fairly big and so pretty. I'll have to look them up...
I tend to plant the colors orange, yellows, and blues -
I'm appreciating my neighbors trees -
The tree at the top right has a beautiful orange when it turns - I can't wait for that one!
The mums from last year are looking good. I do need to trim and cut out the dead stuff before moving it to the front yard.
The last of the summer marigolds...
Tomato plants have been pulled up - I want to move this raised planter -
My husband told me that our friends, who are old enough to be our children - Josh and Ashley called to invite us to their thanksgiving. How sweet of them. Of course he had to decline the invitation, it was still awfully sweet to be thought of. We do think of Josh and his family as part of our own.
And since I will probably never have grandchildren - we do enjoy their 3 children.
Regarding grandchildren.
Here I am, pushing 69 (March) and I do not have grandchildren. I'm okay with it - It's only when people "assume" we are dreadfully unhappy with this circumstance that we find ourselves in. My son told me, he doubts very much if they will continue - Yeah I could have mentioned, adopting or other remedies but bottom-line, its not about me or my happiness. I'm more concerned about his feelings and yes, he is disappointed. All I did was tell him, I love him and Sara and it makes no difference to us - whatever they decided. I figure she is getting enough flack from her Larger than Large LDS family.
I did notice the other day at Bible study - the leader saying something that assumed all us women were "grandmas". Yeah I noticed that. And for the first time, I felt uncomfortable.
It's the way it is. I can't make people change what they say because it hurts my feelings - she didn't mean it. And it didn't hurt my feelings - I did feel conspicuous and a bit left out but I did my old, "self-talk" trick and just smiled and left it at that. I honestly don't mind people sharing their grandchildren's photos or such with me. I enjoy it. What kind of selfish narcissist would I be if I could not celebrate with others about their grandchildren?
What I do think I don't like is when others tell me, they are sorry. There is nothing to be sorry about. It happens. So lets move on.
I can't wallow in obsessing about this - it does me no good. I do know of a woman who is so bitterly unhappy that she has no grandchildren - she badgers her children all the time - and she is risking her marriage over her obsession. I don't want to be that way. If it should happen, then what a wonderful surprise that would be - but I am not going to live any differently and since I do tend to be a pro-active person, I just am able to love on other peoples grandchildren, freely.
What is truly sad - is that I am unable to love on my late sister's grandchildren. This could set me crazy if I dwelled on it 24/7. I can love them from afar, keep things in a box that I will give to them one day, when they come looking for me.
I confess - I do troll their grandfather's Instagram page for recent photos of the kids.
So that is my extra WORDY Wednesday.
Have a great day!
Sounds much like me, I rather doubt that we will have any grandchildren either. I usually say I borrow others when I feel the need.
ReplyDeleteLove the flowers, so nice to know that some place in North America there is still a bit of colour.
God bless.
I'm jealous of your poppy's! I'd be jealous in the summer because we can't get them to grow here, but it's even worse when we are under a winter storm warning. :)
ReplyDeleteGood attitude on your part. That other woman is going to lose everything if she carries on the way she has been. I wish you could love on your sisters grands too, and they would surely benefit from that!
Assumptions can be annoying, and I like your idea of self-talk to keep from saying something out loud.
ReplyDeleteYour flowers look so lovely, especially as I look out at the snow that has fallen today. Shovelling will be needed again tomorrow.
You have such a wonderful attitude about all of this. And there are both pros AND cons of having grandchildren!
ReplyDeleteDearest Debby,
ReplyDeleteWell, I had no idea that we have so much in common!
Just a bit older than you but our adopted daughter Liz is way too selfish for ever having wanted any child(ren). Our foster daughter Anita wasted her 9 good years with the Muslim convert who promised her the moon. She'd broken up with her fiancé and he is long happily married with a cute son. Anita loves children but with her recent surgery for having a tumor removed I doubt if she ever will get pregnant—too late for that. BUT she is divorced from that abusive husband and found true love!
What aggravates me is that in our age group, most women on social media are constantly bragging about their beautiful, smart, grandkids and showing photo after photo.
In my opinion, children ought to be children and grow up in a protective environment and not be exposed to the world for a show—off purpose. Think about their safety!
The very same with my sisters' children. Giving them the things like you mention might never be feasible but one can only try and do the utmost.
And thank goodness there are other grandchildren not by blood but by love!
Love your flowers—enjoy them while they last!
Hugs,
Mariette
Forgot to say how gorgeous your flowers are! We don't have the California kind of poppies here, we have the other kind. You have lots of good variety.
ReplyDeleteDebby, you do have a good attitude on being a grandma - if it should happen, then what a wonderful surprise that would be. We all have things we would love to have. There are those who cannot have children, and I feel blessed to have had three. There are those who still have their mom and dad. My dad died when I was 28. That was young to lose a dad, right? And my mom passed away also. So, you see, there are things we all wish we had. I think your son is dealing with it well too. Your flowers looks so Fallish in your garden. I love those Mums. They are a great color, and that will be nice when you plant them in your front yard.
ReplyDeleteI enjoy reading your posts. You are a genuine woman with a good heart.
~Sheri
You have the right attitude. Why drive yourself crazy over something you can't control. That sentence is my mantra I say to myself whenever I get upset over something I can't do anything about. I do feel bad for your son and DIL. Infertility is hard on everyone.
ReplyDeleteHi Debby. I love the pictures of your beautiful flowers. We all have disappointments we have to deal with in life. You have a good attitude. Infertility is a rough situation - hard on the couple and the whole family. Sounds like you are a great support to your son. Have a good weekend.
ReplyDeleteI am sorry that you can't have hands on with your sister's grandkids. That is pretty sad. Other than that, I agree with you and people should never assume that you are unhappy with not having grandkids of your own. It is what it is and something YOU have no control over. I think there are things that all of us deal with that others assume we think differently about then they expect. Did that even make sense? Well, lol, I knw what I meant.
ReplyDeleteI hope you have a wonderful, blessed weekend. xo Diana
I will not have grandchildren either…it’s weird… weird that people tell me they are ‘sorry’ for me…?…am I not understanding something? It’s almost like I’ve done something wrong. I guess I have ….??…I thought life was meant to be enjoyed and to do good. I don’t miss things that I don’t have…I am blessed beyond words….unless someone tells me they are sad for me…huh? My children are happy, productive, compassionate and lovely people. Hmmmm…I kind of feel like I’m just not quite right…and I would never mean to make anyone feel that way myself. ??? It’s a mystery. But….Sending happy weekend wishes.
ReplyDeletexo,V.
I treat 2 of my sister's grandchildren like my own as long as you are happy and content
ReplyDelete